The Atomik Weekender Competition - The winners spill the beans . . . and everything else!
Reported by HarderFaster
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Submitted 09-03-09 07:56
With The Atomik Weekender now only a few weeks away HarderFaster asked for your stories of fun, shady dealings and debauchery at previous weekenders to be aired for all to see, with the best being offered the chance of a Gold Class chalet for six at Pontins holiday camp in Prestatyn on the 20th March. The judges thought long and hard with extra points won for scale of messyness involved, the number of plots losts and general skullduggery. In the end it came down to these two and we couldn't separate them so a draw was declared and they'll be sharing that Gold class chalet. They're all big boys now so we're sure they have nothing to hide and have a great time. Well done to you both.
First up with his tales of madness from the past is party boy Paul as we step back a few years . . .
Tidy summer camp 2005 was special for a number of reasons, it' was the first time that Harderfaster had sent a team up to compete against those lovely people from the tidy board. It was also being filmed by Alex Klement on behalf of HF.
So I met up with Janie Mac and Shaf de Bum at Greenwich as they where giving me a lift, when I got up there I met up with Alex and ended up staying in their chalet. I'd decided while they were filming I’d do a little gorilla filming of my own - so I headed around to Syfoon and Zimmas chalet and decided to follow foon around to the Pontins shops with my camcorder.
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I can't remember very much of that Friday night - other than spending most of the night outside sleeping in an oversized inflatable rubber ring in a very battered and altered state
The next day was the sports day, I wasn't competing but was there to show my support, after the sports day we decided it would be funny to do a bit more filming - the previous night (before getting completely munted) we decided to do a take on the crocodile hunter, so we consumed some 'supplies' and I got dressed in what ever beige attire I could find and headed out with our camcorder
It wasn't long before we met some up for it munters just wondering around the campsite in a 'day after' kind of haze so we ran them down like the animals that they were, here's the resulting footage - the first video was intended to be the intro.
...and this second video was us actually catching a real life munter and as described - you can tell he'd been out all night. You'll also notice a very unconvincing Australian accent:
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So after a good days antics we knew that Alex was filming an interview with Andy Whitby in the pub so we toddled along to that, turns out that Andy was asked some rather daft questions and gave some equally daft answers - so after the interview they were asked to not use the film of the interview
This seemed all the more funny because of the amount of snake bite I had consumed at the bar
Many drinks later I decided to pop by foony and zim's chalet again - by this time they had their rather impressive PA system set up and you could hear them from half way across pontins still having my camcorder with me I decided to film, you'll notice the wobbliness of the camera work as I was completely battered at this stage:
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After a while we headed back to our chalet to engage in more munting, I got in such a state that there was no way I’d make it to the arena to see any DJ's, so we sat outside the chalet and engaged in various games, like seeing who could shout the word 'fuck' the loudest and get away with it or seeing who could chuck the rubber ring (my bed the night before) over someone standing still. After a while my haze was begging to clear and I made the decision to go see some DJ's - I remember catching ed reals set from start to finish right at the front, that was banging - I do recall one cyber raver puking up over the front rail right beside me - with my lightning reflexes I managed to dodge the vom.
The next day I persuaded Alex to let me use their professional camera equipment to do some daft interviews, but as the Sunday wore on I got a lot more drunk and battered, I remember interview a storm trooper who was part of the UK garrison you'll notice that I’m having difficulty with my words, to be honest I was seeing double by this time
But Mark the trooper turned out to be a very nice chap and after some stupid recordings we decided to head to the pub for some snake bites, it seemed pretty strange standing in the pub having a drink with a storm trooper - poor old Mark the trooper couldn't sit down in the suit so we propped up the bar - we did get some odd looks from the punters
By this time it was getting late into the night and it was soon to be kicking out time so me and Alan decided to have a quiet drink in the chalet and watch the re-runs of that weekends tidy TV.
The next morning everyone was leaving, a mass exodus from Pontins, everyone went to their vehicles and lifts and left - then it dawned on me - I hadn't arranged a lift home to London!! by this time everyone I know had left - the only person I could think of to call was Gorfy - he was already miles away driving down the motorway - but like a true pal he turned around and headed back to Pontins to pick me up that was a turn up for the books and I repaid him by sleeping in his car all the way back to London
It was a fantastic weekender and I gave me a lot of found memories of friends who are no longer with us and new friends made on that 3 day adventure
Our second winner was from DMX, never short of something to say so over to him for all the gory details.
Well, it was a good few year’s back, but I remember it like it was yesterday. A few of us were together, enjoying the sites and sounds of the Weekender, when we decided to crack open a bottle of Absinthe. Not being to my taste, a friend of mine and a couple of others decided to neck it in the space of an hour, with a view to heading out and catching Lab4.
However, what one guy (who had tagged along from the previous night) hadn't bargained on the potency of the drink, particularly when combined with (surprisingly legal) psychedelics known as Hawaiian Baby Woodrose. As we left the chalet we walked across the path, close to the front gate. This guy decided that he desperately needed to take a piss, and so took a few minutes slowly and not-so-gracefully de-trousering himself. When he was done his belt was clearly still loose, and his manhood was barely hidden. By this time the giggles had set in for me, and obviously it was far more intense for those who'd also hammered the booze. In fact, the random guy was especially away with the fairies... so much so that he started seeing stars. Not stars of the celestial kind, but rather bona-fide superstar DJs. And not "see" in the traditional "wasted" manner, no, not that at all... he could SENSE them! This would have been fine and dandy if it weren’t for our close proximity to the exit.
He'd sprinted out of the gate, exclaiming "it's the Tidy Boys, it's the Tidy boys!", much to our amusement. Far less to our amusement was the fact that a car passing by actually drew his attention, and he proceeded to chase it. We legged it after him, just in case he decided that roads were a safe place for him to play. Worse was to come. The car actually stopped and the door opened. We feared that he would accidentally provoke a bad reaction from the driver, so we hurried over. To our amazement he was beckoned into the car, and sat in the passenger seat! By that point our group had reached the car and we were prepared to apologise for his actions, but the lady driver was adamant that it wasn't a problem! "He wants to come with me", she said. We laughed for a while and stood gently encouraging him to get out, but without warning the car pulled off, at full-speed, with the passenger door still swinging open!
We couldn't quite believe what was happening, and stood around, watching the car drive off into the distance; the door finally closing about 100m down the road. My first thought was to call his mobile and ask him what he was playing at, but all we got was non-sensical laughing and comments about him needing sex. This was made all the worse by the fact that the lady driving the car was nothing short of a shaved gorilla... although a few patches had clearly been missed. :-/ Gorilla don't have mirrors in their cages, it seems.
Many unanswered calls later we realised that we couldn't do much and had to wait for him to return/come down and to his senses. He turned-up the next day, recanting tales of the Tidy Boys and how they weren't quite what he expected, and confided in us that he may have had a gay encounter with one of them, but couldn't quite remember the details. We would have informed him right away that he was actually with a woman (in the loosest sense of the word), but the deliciousness of the situation called for that to be postponed, for, as luck would have it, the Tidy Boys were about to perform in the main arena! So naturally we headed off there straight away, without letting that fact slip. I believe Glazby was playing when we entered, but then after 15 or so minutes, the Tidy Boys took to the main stage. The look of horror and embarrassment on the guy's face was a picture, but we all burst out laughing, and quickly recanted the real story, much to his relief. We never did find out who the woman was or what happened after that, and frankly, we didn't ask. But if any of the Tidy Boys are reading this... do you recognise this arse?
Silver - £99 per person
Basic accommodation
Entrance into all arenas
Express check-in / Express check-out
Free onsite car parking
Late check-out on Monday until 3pm
Private Bathroom
Fitted Kitchen
Lounge
TV
Bed linen
Free electricity
Weekend lanyard and wristband
(You will need to bring towels)
1 bedroom apartments sleeps up to 5 people
2 bedroom apartments sleeps up to 7 people
Gold - £105 per person
Standard accommodation
Entrance into all arenas
Express check-in / Express check-out
Free onsite car parking
Late check-out on Monday until 3pm
Private Bathroom with shower
Fitted Kitchen
Lounge
TV
Bed linen
Free electricity
Weekend lanyard and wristband
(You will need to bring towels)
1 bedroom apartments sleeps up to 5 people
2 bedroom apartments sleeps up to 7 people
VIP - £160 per person
Club accommodation
Weekend lanyard and wristband
Atomik Weekender T-shirt
Extra 4th night Tidy Boys Pre Party includes accomm
Free Atomik mix album by the Tidy Boys
Exclusive VIP bar
Entrance into all arenas with Queue Jumping
Express check-in / Express check-out
Free onsite car parking
Late check-out on Monday until 3pm
Private Bathroom with shower
Fitted Kitchen with Microwave
Lounge
Patio Doors
TV (Digital Channels)
Bed Linen and bathroom towels
Complementary tea and coffee facilities
1 bedroom apartments sleeps up to 5 people
2 bedroom apartments sleeps up to 7 people
Scientist claim that ∀x. P (x) ∧ ∃y. Q (y, f (x)) ∨ ∃z. R (z) is key formular in which the universe was created, from the smallest atoms came the Big Bang Theory... well now we introduce you to a new prolific formula which we think may cause a slightly bigger bang than that!
Here we witness something new, combined forces uniting to create something very special, an event conceived by the pioneers of holiday clubbing and weekender concepts. This new winning formula is a powerful coalition of The Tidy Boys, Chic Talent, and northern legends, Goodgreef. Add to this mix a cluster of some of the biggest UK dance brands and a fusion of over 85 of the worlds biggest DJs & acts to create - The ATOMIK Weekender.
This explosive alliance has united for the first time to deliver a 3 day, 3 night fun filled indoor festival of clubbing debauchery and euphoric hysteria. Bringing the full spectrum of the dance world together, Pontins Holiday Centre in Prestatyn once again becomes the home of one of the biggest dance events in the industry.
Now hold on tight because it’s not only the line-up and all the ‘super-club’ brands that are going to cause an atomic bang but the crazy early bird price of only £80 GBP* per person, with only a £30 GBP deposit, which will blow the cosmic dust off any those credit crunch worries. So there is no real reason how anyone can escape this first ATOMIK blast.
The Tidy Boys, Chic Talent & Goodgreef are all committed to deliver a very special new event at the right price, at everyone’s favourite weekender venue. We want you and your chosen clubbing family to come along for a ride and experience which you will never forget. Join us in Prestatyn for the big Atomik party March 20th/21st/23rd 2009
DMC the World mixing Championship Team, Join the Atomik Weekender!
We are also proud to have on board the DMC world mixing championships, this afternoon session will include:
The Ultimate Guide To DJ Tricks and Techniques
Cutmaster Swift (World Champion) guide to the hottest Turntabalist tricks and show stopping moments from the last 25 years of DMC championships.
DMC Battle of Britain
We invite the UK’s best turntabalists for a one off head2head battle with the Atomik audience deciding the winner, plenty of crowd interaction and mayhem.
Atomik celebrity DJ Battle
We can have guest DJ’s who are playing that weekend to take part in a little comp to see who's best, we have Kutski (radio1 resident) and DJ's from the Organ Donors team to fight it out.
DMC Team champion showcase.
An amazing spectacle both musically and visually with up to 4 DJ’s playing at once taking the scene to another level.
All hosted by the legendary World Mixing champion Cut Master Swift and featuring DJ Switch plus the UK's hottest mixing team!!
Region:
Wales
Music:
Trance. Acid Trance. Euro Trance. Hard Trance. Tech Trance. Nu NRG. Hi NRG. Hardcore. HardStyle. Old Skool. House. Bouncy House. Deep House. Funky House. Hard House. Prog House. Tribal House. US House. Vocal House. Electro House. Acid House. Soulful House. Tech House. Acid Techno. Deep Techno. Funky Techno. Minimal Techno. Techno. Breaks. Pop. Commercial Dance. Club Classics. Electro. Soul.
Helter Skelter and Uproar
Slipmatt
Ratpack
Kutski
Dougal and Wotsee
Amber D’mour
Seduction + MC Rude
Squad-e and MC Wotsee
Spectrum
A Skillz
Mickey Slim
Heavey Feet
Michael Morph
Pete Jordan
Sunday House sessions
Rob Tissera (Kiss Da Funk set)
Paul Flintoff
Em Extreme
Paul Calvvy and Toddy
Plus best of British Club Clash:
B2T
Clinic
Hi Oktane
Branded
Advokate
Rectify
Mayhem
Frantic
Nu Wave
Sets from:
Velos (Slinky)
Frisky (Frantic)
Adam M Rascal + Alan Wilson
Strange Dave + Livewire
Danny Killer
The Technicians
Evo + Maxwell
Marc Doc + Colin Bell
Steely
![[HarderFaster] - Work Hard, Play Harder!](/images/mainbanner_top1.gif)
so we ran them down like the animals that they were, here's the resulting footage - the first video was intended to be the intro.
